Tag: Dissociation and Numbness
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Zoey confesses to Jesus that she would rather keep to her habitual pattern of checking out by watching endless videos and ignoring the pain inside of her than connecting in with Him. She wrestles with the desire to continue unhelpful behaviors instead coming out of hiding because she is safe with Jesus now.
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“Going Numb” happens when life becomes too scary, too overwhelming for kids who do not have nurturing and safe-enough caregivers to help them through painful things. It is a survival mechanism that prevents them from fully feeling terror and fear.
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Many people who survived childhood abuse habitually & unconsciously check out (dissociate) and feel numb. This poem is about Zoey beginning to believe Jesus could love her when she’s checked out and using addictive behaviors in her efforts to not be overwhelmed by pain.
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Hidden—In childhood, Zoey learned to hide her emotions and herself from people, especially her dad. Now, when she hides, she loses energy and feels the two masks come on. Hiding—She hates it when she feels the masks come on, like a thief in the night…