Hidden—In childhood, Zoey learned to hide her emotions and herself from people, especially her dad. Now, when she hides, she loses energy and feels the two masks come on.
Hiding—She hates it when she feels the masks come on, like a thief in the night. Suddenly there is a mask on both her face and heart. She doesn’t even try to do it consciously. It just happens to her. She smiles, pretending everything is ok, but it’s not. She’s tired of pretending. It takes a lot of energy. And it’s confusing!
The mask on her face hides her feelings and her thoughts from others and many times, even from herself. The mask on her heart makes her not able to feel, neither her good feelings or her painful feelings. She just feels numb.
These masks helped her in childhood, to not get targeted for more abuse. They really did. The masks stopped her from protesting the abuse (and then getting more abuse for protesting).
This is important—when the masks come on, Zoey does not feel safe!
But now, these masks keep her from fully feeling and experiencing. They keep her from fully living.
Yet, she was created for life, not destruction nor a life of not feeling.
This is Zoey sharing with Jesus: “I don’t want to wear these masks anymore. They are too heavy. They keep me numb. Help me learn how to feel my big hard “feels.” I want to be more whole. I want to be comfortable with my differences to others. I don’t know what I need, Jesus. Would you help me?”
If you mask up like Zoey, consider telling Jesus all about what happened when you last “masked up” and ask Him to help you LEARN TO FEEL SAFE.
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